- HeartLesS - - DeathWisH -

Edwin's Birthday

2006-04-25T21:08:00.001+08:00

We bought a phone card for edwin's b'dae =)

lol today was a big big day for a nub.
his 16 b'dae.

sms-ed him at 12.01am and i got my msg deleted!! -.-"
aniwae after school, suppose to go goodspeed Cc to play play and play.

Due to the retarded rain ^_^. we ran there and was totally like drench from head to toe. 5 wet chickens running ard. in teh end, we [ esgy ] skipped lunch and play play xD

play-ed 2 games of dota with a sec 3 team and our team consists of me , glenn . youxu , alvin and b'dae boy! won 1 lost 1 lol .. lack of teamwork >_> aniwae too long nv blog le. dunno what to type =/

Friends that watch your back

Friends that play with your heart

All act the same from the start

Before you know it some disappear

Others stay beside you for life

Those are the friendsThe best friends

=) nUbisHz

Edwin

2006-04-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

24.03.06 =X

2006-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

=.= blogger so laggy. omgwtfbbq i am blogging !!!! hahas

well last few training before stepping down, we all have aged over the past 4 years, thick and thins, from privates, from recruits, from coporals, to sgts and staff and master. the joy and laughter we shared, the pumpings we did as a part, the Pts, the fun time, water war , sports , orinteering, IMTs, life ranges and competition as Alpha`o3, Bravo `o4, Charlie`o5 and Delta aka NCOs`o6. pardon me if i left anything out.

Zongxing , Izuan , Yusni have came conquered and left. all is left is just memories. just like the past, when we were about to leave our primary schools , yes thats the feeling that we will be experiencing soon. >_< ... although many of us don't know each other well, we are still platoon mates!! having gone thru all these, the bonding will be hard to be broken but how sad can we get =.= !! when it is time to let go, we must.

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heart strings and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful and happy and free.
Life can put beauty in the things that you see.
Life can place challenges right at our feet.
Life can make good of the hardships we meet.
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin.
Life can reward those determined to win.
Life can be hurtful and not always fair.
Life can surround you with people who cares.
Life clearly does offer it ups and its downs
Life's days can bring us both smiles and frowns.
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad.
Life is a mixture of happy and sad.

Take the life that you haave and give it your best
Think positive and be happy let God do the rest.
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet.
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all.
Take the love that you are given and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed it will always be there.
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see.
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart gree.
The idea here is simply to even the score.
As you have met and faced with Life's tug of war

meaningful isn't it. >=)

o_O

2006-02-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

YAy i blogged x= * attempts to revive dead blog ^^

welcome me back =)

2005-11-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

Trying out new forms of blogging hahas

Todae topic : Ghosts

Does ghost exists? i myself don't know the answer ok

What is Ghosts?

The spirit of a dead person, especially one believed to appear in bodily likeness to living persons or to haunt former habitats.

The center of spiritual life; the soul.
A demon or spirit.

A returning or haunting memory or image.

A slight or faint trace: just a ghost of a smile.

The tiniest bit: not a ghost of a chance.

A faint, false image, as:
- A secondary image on a television or radar screen caused by reflected waves.
- A displaced image in a photograph caused by the optical system of the camera.
- A false spectral line caused by imperfections in the diffraction grating.
- A displaced image in a mirror caused by reflection from the front of the glass.

No 1 can actually prove that ghosts do exist. But better believe than not. Sometimes your eyes could be playing tricks on you =)

Byeee

Finally i blogged

2005-11-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

weeee ok i am back ... for now

Just came back from specs course. in fact i actually missed the days in camp =/
hahas. Mdm Lydia was our In charge.. i didn't find her too fierce wor..
She told us in a friendly manner how to be a good spec and when to do the right things at the right time. Thru this camp, i had change my opinion of a few specialists and sir / mdms.
Although this course was slacker than even our camp feast. i learnt a lot there..
Hardwork will definately pay off while efforts are needed to attain greater heights
&
Respect needs to be earn, it will not come to you overnight

Some people have great leadership qualities. but having leadership qualities does not mean that having a good altitude. we must try to become a better person as days pass by. how? thru trying and more trying. =)

lalalaa

2005-09-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

Well i wonder could it be
When i was dreaming bout u baby
You were dreaming of me, call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did i lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like i do
i do, you know i really really do

Well hey, so much i need to say
been lonely since the day, the day you went away
So sad but true, for me there's only you
Been crying since the day, the day you went away
I remember date and time
September 22 Sunday Twenty Five after nine
In the dooyway with you case
No longer shouting at each other there were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something that we will never have again
I know, i guess i really really know

Well, hey so much i need to say
Been crying since the day the day you went away
So sad but true, for me there's only you
Been crying since the day, the day you went away

Did i lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like i do
i do, you know i really really do

Well, hey so much i need to say
Been crying since the day the day you went away
So sad but true, for me there's only you
Been crying since the day, the day you went away
Why do we never know what we have got till its gone
How could i carry on, the day you went away
Cause i have been missing you so much i have to say
Been crying since the day, the day you went away

- Fearless -

2005-09-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

My Dota improved.. so??

Damn... i am beginning to be afraid that i will screw my final year up..
1 more mth.. 30 days.. to go.. and i haven start revision..

oh fucck..!!!!! argh..

by 2nite maple get to lvl 39... and start to study de
i shall use my blog to motivate myself!!!!!
I shall conquer myself!!!!!
Believing in everything that is ahead!!!!!!!!

2ml zai continue about mt ophir..

- Holiday -

2005-09-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

hmmz came back from mt ophir today..weeeee i am a conqueror of mt ophir.. okay this is what happened there.. i will not totally state all the happenings now but i will roughly give u all a brief introduction =)

Day 0

Shuwei's dad fetched me and junhao + shuwei to Ang Moy Quee camp.. the rest slowly came 1 by 1.. had a bag check and supper before turning in bed. hmmm night time.. boys bunk 2.. a lot of things happen.. bed shaking, moaning noises and crazy fella making a din there =/... lights off at 11pm

Day 1

Headed to mt ophir in the morning at ard 7am..
Arrived at 1 plus ? forget le..

Errrr i tml den continue..now keep having pop ups and i am sleepy =x .. hahas

=/

2005-08-31T17:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TEACHER"S DAY =/

Hmmm nv go back to jingshan cos 2pm den can go in.. end up went out ^^.. lolz heard that only me . eugene and yiliang were the ones dat nv go back.. hmmm missing 6/1`o2..

went out with esgy.. played 3 dota games.. 1st 1 against Moo.. won it.. 2nd game was against [AMK] 4 v 5 .. we lost badly lol. den last game was a rematch against [AMK] ... esgy + lone_yellow.. won itt.. hahas

ok i am sick..... hais.. i want to go ophir!!!!!

Yesterdae soccer finals.. man of the tourament.. Maduran .. Top scorer. Maduran =.=..
hmmm he scored 4 goals sia... weeeeeeeeeeeee 3/1 is the champion.....

- hais -

2005-08-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

hmm this is what i found on the net!!!

They both thought

that a sudden feeling had united them

This certainty is beautiful,

Even more beautiful than uncertainty.

They thought they didn't know each other,

nothing had ever happened between them,

These streets, these stairs, this corridors,

Where they could have met so long ago?

I would like to ask them,

if they can remember

- perhaps in a revolving door

face to face one day?

A "sorry" in the crowd?

"Wrong number" on the 'phone? -

but I know the answer.

No, they don't remember.

How surprised they would be

For such a long time already

Fate has been playing with them

Not quite yet ready

to change into destiny,

which brings them nearer and yet further,

cutting their path and stifling a laugh,

escaping ever further;

There were sings, indications,

undecipherable, what does in matter.

Three years ago,

perhaps or even last Tuesday,

this leaf flying from one shoulder to another?

Something lost and gathered.

Who knows, perhaps a ball already

in the bushes, in childhood?

There were handles, door bells,

where, on the trace of a hand,

another hand was placed;

suitcases next to one another in the left luggage.

And maybe one night the same dream forgotten on walking;

But every beginning

is only a continuation

and the book of fate

is always open in the middle.

- sians -

2005-08-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

yay todae trn.. 1 word to describe.. Sucks.. ok nth else to sae le..
except that we must learn how to control our feelings =)) lols not for me de this sentence

hmm sec1 drills got improvement.. glad for them..
i nid to learn to shout and scold them at times
and not to play ard with them >.< lols sians ...
okie

Social studies test --- 7 / 13 haiss... just passed
just because of 1 sentence .. what however there are other reasons.. i lost abt 2 marks >.< 3 grades u noe. from c6 can become b3 de.. i am an idiot ...

okie..

time to maple ^^

National day!!

2005-08-09T11:31:00.000+08:00

1stly happy national day to all of YOU out there..

Had a lot of fun yesterdae on the eve of the national day =))

Went to school in the morning for celebration

hmph finally the parade was over after so much preparation

seems that our hardwork finally paid off

hope that there ain't much mistakes in the parade

had a food fair in the canteen while i was slacking off in the air rm

till ard 11.10am

took a cab to jing shan with yijun jason and joce

in total about 13of us went rite

there were

jason

samuel

jingda

yijun

jocelyn

chunfu

wei siang

sherwin

fadhillah

jernan

yong seng

rachel

shu ling

yepps thats all.. missed those memories

Played a game of hockey with the sec1s

more like sec3s vs sec1s

haiz we sec3s are oldies le

lost by quite a nice score

7 - 1 =/

lols.. lazi to run ard.. end up lose until liddat

nvm we shall be back on teacher's dae..

and have our revenge!! =)

After that they went to kfc 1st

while i headed home to get my clothes changed

before rushing to kfc

luckily they were still there arhs

hmm met justin at kfc too

and guess what

we saw yijun and her stead ji yong + dunno who there =))

Accompanied justin to dohby ghoat mrt ( dunno how to spell )

to make his mip card b4

miting eric. xiao haii and da ren and da ren didi

hmm went to marina there to walk walk

this 1 later den post ..

now want to die le>.<

stupid running nose

aniwae i going out le =))

have fun guys and gals

for this year national day

Tagboard

2005-08-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

Pls double click the word spam for the tagboard to come out.. =X
thanks a lot.. sorry for the troubles

- Thinking -

2005-08-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

lolz hmm past few days nv blog.. sry all.. hmph my internet connection is going mad le.. sometimes i will be able to connect but sometimes i can't..

1stly i am so glad dat i can go mt ophir =x

lols yay happie with my change of attitude of my cca le

hope that i can change the way of my studies too

i want to achieve better results

and get into a good poly or jc

todae had ndp rehearsal.. was quite slack except erm some slack and negative marching lolz..

sianz la.. life at home is so boring without internet connection

i rotted for 4 hours at home

eating

drinking

watching tv

and walkin ard

and playing lf2 and sim2 >.<

hais...

want

out

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmph 2ml hope that can find ppl pei wo go watch movie =))

randy dun run away ^^

i want to watch red candy de..

that dae went to see doctor diana with junhao and benben

actually planned to see a doc at 3pm but we delayed till 7pm

wow..

took a blood presuure test and urine test and body checkup=/

heng heng

i am prefectly Okie

even the doctor sae very good wor ^^

my ear is fully healed le

praise the lord =))

Got this from the clinic

Points to ponder

Do not underestimate ur worth

by comparing urself to others

It is because we are different

that each of us is special

Do not set ur goals

by what other ppl deem important

only you know whats is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things

closest to your heart,

Cling to them as you would your life

for without them

life is meaningless

Do not let ur life slip thru ur fingers

by living in the past or the future

by living your life on day at a time

you live all the days of ur life

Do not give up when you still have something to give

Nothing is really over until

the moment

u stop trying

Do not be afraid to admit that

you are less than perfect

it is a fraglie thread thats

binds us all together

Do not be afraid to encounter risks

it is by taking chances that

we earn to be brave

Do not shut love out of ur life

by saying it is impossible to find

the quickest way to receive love

is to give love

the fastest way to lose love

is to hold it too tightly

and the best way to give love

is to give it wings

Do not dimiss your dreams

To be without dreams is to be without hope

To be without hope is to be without purpose

Do not run through life so fast

not only where you have been

but also where you are going

Life is not a race, but a journey.

to be savoured each step of the way.

Life is full of hope de

Dreams can always come true if you work hard towards them

Do not let a failure to defeat you

you must stand up and beat the failure first

overcoming yourself

will help you to overcome all fears and troubles

that lies ahead in our life.

- New month -

2005-08-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

Aims for month of august..

- Pass All my Tests with flying colours

- Improve my Counter strike and Dota. At least become top 10 in raiders =))

- Forget About all the pasts and look ahead at my happy future

- Wins Selena, Inez and Benedict in all subjects =))

- Pia my maple story and get to lvl high high

- Save $$$ dun waste too much le

- Watch Movie. - Red candy, Bug me not , The maid and others

- Get to know the sec1 cadets better

- Never ever get frustrated and stop thinking of things that will make me sad.

Things change as time go by

I thought that I could always count on you,

I thought that nothing could become between us two.

We said as long as we would stick together,

We’d be alright,

We’d be ok.

But I was stupid

And you broke me down

I’ll never be the same again

So thank you for showing me,

hat best friends can not be trusted,

And thank you for lying to me,

Your friendship and good times we had

you can have them back

Yeah!

I wonder why it always has to hurt,

For every lesson that you have to learn.

I won’t forget what you did to me,

How you showed me things,

I wish I’d never seen

But I was stupid,

And you broke me down,

I’ll never be the same again.

So thank you for showing me,

That best friends can not be trusted,

And thank you for lying to me,

Your friendship the good times we had

you can have them back

When the tables turn again,

You’ll remember me my friend,

You’ll be wishing I was there for you.

I’ll be the one you’ll miss the most,

But you’ll only find my ghost.

As time goes by,

You’ll wonder why,

You’re all alone.

So thank you for showing me

That best friends can not be trusted,

And thank you for lying to me,

Your friendship and good times we had

you can have them back.

So thank you,

for lying to me,

So thank you,

for all the times you let me down

So thank you,

for lying to me,

So thank you,

your friendship you can have it back

- Death`WisH - blogged with a lightened heart at 11.59pm!

31 . 07 . 05

2005-07-31T10:38:00.000+08:00

weeeee~~~ can online again -.-"

Nomad was quite nice but actually i would rather watch a performance under air-con as the weather really sux now =/.. so hot and humid even at night..... sianzzz

Yesterday was quite a nice day actually..!! went out at ard 10.30am . to meet andy and edwin.. errr meet to go raiders together ^^.. at 1st i played with andrew and dunno who in a 3 v 3 match ^^. won in ard 55 minutes ..
then i made a gosu DR ... hmmm what equipment i had.. errr 1 divine rapier . power threads .the butterfly .Burize
mask of madness and lastly i forget le >.<.. aiya damn geng can le.. hmmmm sians yesterdae win lose was 5/1
not bad la.. except lose in a stupid manner.. oki change subject

what can i blog?? if u happen to read todae newpaper.. there is a subject abt what do ppl blog.. seems that sometimes ppl will be clueless as in what to blog.. like the state i am in now.. sighz.. Nvm!! i stop here 1st den when i have my creative spark den i will be backk!! so long...

- F l a m E -

2005-07-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

Time is a gray, barren meadow.
When looking ahead,
there is no end.
When looking behind,
there is no beginning.
Time sounds like a serene river,
each ripple
a hint of the moments that pass by.
Time smells like a fragrant lilac,
always sweet and
comforting.
Time tastes like a ripe tangerine,
bursting with
superb flavor.
Time feels like an everlasting journey,
perpetually seeking and yearning to discover what lies ahead.

Burning Deep in my heart.. Do you understand the Pain that i had been through?..

- Sadistic AssAssain -
Backstab
Meteor Assault

Once i lay my hands on you
I will Dig out the flesh from your skin
Bursting ur blood vessels 1 by 1
No mercy will be Shown
And i am the one
Who will end you life NOW!!.

- D e a t h W i s H -

2dae school sian 1/2 .. after school went SSC play play play play play play play lols.. den went back to school help out nomad for awhile till ard 6.40pm.. left with ben ben and shuwei ..

went raiders alone.. met glenn edwin youxu and marcus andrew and some others =) .. played counter strike 1st..
Sadistic killer.. kill ppl until so song.. mE and kala 2 v 2 . thrash 2 other ppl.. actually i was 1 v 2ing den at iceworld.. my frag damn chio lor.. 36 - 0 den Bloody server go restartrd TmD!!!. was happie with my performance 2dae.. 5 front stab knifes!! lols. dota play till dulan.. 92 min.. 4 v 4... but in the game we WON!!! me using magnataur and Bone in my team backdoor to win -.-"... lols gosu equipment!!! hmm skadi.. power threads.. Hearts.. BKB.. MOM... and 1 null lols... 3.9k hp sia.. 400 average dmg lOls... but my frag sux la.. was v happie 2dae.. got what i wanted and wished for oso..

i failed to win one's heart but now given another chances with some1 else.. i will make sure i cherish my chances!!!!!! Failure no more!!!

- F l a m E -

24 . 07 . 05

2005-07-24T12:38:00.000+08:00

long time no see!!!

lols my internet connection is still down currently. but i manage to come online now =/ .. sighz

hmm chemistry test was quite easy actually but i lost 4 marks le.. due to carelessness.. Emaths test was easier =X
Got 14.5/25 for chinese test -_-" i can go and die le..

23.07.05

Yesterdae had NDP rehearsal. reported at school so early yet skool gate closedz... hmm stand in the parade square for ard 3 hours liddat? i mean there are breaks in between lar.. ncc air had the most ppl in the cca but had the least ppl for the parade.. Wth?. . attendance getting suxier and suxier le.. Left skool at 2++. went home changed and slacked for a while den went to PHS for fuuuunfair >.<.. met glenn youxu and edwin there.. shawal dennis gian jie and yeeyew were there too.. hmm i met stella kailing and jasmine there ^^.. Phs is 100times better than amkss -.=.. hall got 3o aircons and still got quite a lot of things.. their funfair was way better den ours too.. Spent all the 45 dollars worth of coupons there.. hahaz. got a lot of chiobus too =X.. sians after dat went to raiders at ard 5pm.. play play play till 9++ den went kfc for supper.. Dats sld be all for yesterdae.

I may seem ok on the outside but actually i have not recover from the downfall. Getting back into massive gaming may not be good for my results and studies but this is a way to solve my problems and helping me to forget my worries. But due to a lack of funds. how many more days can i waste my $$ de raiders?. . Our win lose is currently 8/2 in the past week.. Are we ready for the niggaz? .. i have a feeling that we lack of teamwork. can we improve?? who knows... What will me and you do next?? only time will tell.

19 . 07 . 05

2005-07-19T00:28:00.000+08:00

HAIS!!!! CHEM SO HARD@$#%%#$%#$ lols cannot go in my head hais.. sian sian..

hmm i got now till 6.30 am to study >.<. aiyo what is happening to me..I WANT TO STUDy DE but i cannot push myself -.- ..

wish me good luck later .. thx

18 . 07 . 05

2005-07-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm how many days nv come le?
1
2
3
4

Okays about 4 days ++ ..

Todae school was as usual. hmph got back my letter job application writing =/ so many
corrections. The ratio of mine to glenn is 1 : 10 ? wth.. hmm den sian sian history lesson
was talking my way thru the 45 mins. mdm anantha was diaoing me joel and weilun for
almost the whole lesson? recess le den maths. nv do hw sian 1/2. Spongebob squarepants
smlj lai de.. mdm kee sae joke until no1 understands? wow..

After that was 2 boring lessons of chinese. The teacher taught 2 chapters?.. at least i pay
attentionzz. Den jiu free period for VE.. played soccer in class lo.. kick here kick there
eh flying shoes. flying balls and books den Got the weixun and senior cadet incident lols
some or rather many of us laff till pengz. for more information pls call ( 1900 - 112 - 6868 ) =x

After school actually went air rm for sth de.. end up no1 talking then all keeping walk in walk
out and playing the lousy com -.=". i see till pekchek so went off wif junrui and joel.. took a bus
for 1 bus stop to KFC/ Pizzahut den met wAnjo0, Edwin, GlEnn, YouXu, JamiE and jaNice there
[ESGY] share a family meal?? hmm 12 pieces of sliced pizza then the gals ate paste etc etc la.
total was ard $60 liddat hmm den went back to school and slack ard.. likee watching and tryin
the marching for ndp parade and played some soccers lor.. haiz den nth to do liaoz la.

MY LIFE IS SO FCUKING BORING >.<
Can any1 help to add some colours in it?
Last few days was the depression period
How could i help all of you
When i myself was too
feeling down and out
I tried to improve my day
Tried to change my life agn
?Did i succeed?
The answer will be shown
When the time is ripe

Did u noe that u hurt me once again? I was left in the darkness reflecting on those piercing words that u said. Though they were on the negative side. I tried very hard to forget them but i am afraid dat i failed terribly. You were once my motivation but now i think that it is all gone. I have nothing! nothing to fight for. Nothing to life for. I am just a broken` dreams and hopes smashed and shattered in just a split second. I am nobody. sighz

raiders.. played 2 wif esgy. 1 won easily den other was winning but incomplete.. used Dwarvan Sniper and CM .. lost some skills in Counter strike as i have not played Cs1.3 for almost 3 wks le..
I changed my life bcos of u and this is all i get back? Luckily i managed to savage the situation and now i am trying to continue from april again? All my efforts in the past 3 mths. have they been wasted? only Gods know. God pls stop making a fool out of me. I nid u to guide me. I am l0st.

14 . 07 . 05

2005-07-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Sianzzz

Im not a perfect person
Theres many things i wish i didnt do
But i continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so i have to say before i go
That i just want you to know I have found a reason for me
To change who i used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

Im sorry that i hurt you
Its something i must live with everyday
And all the pain i put you through I wish i could take it all away
And be the oneWho catches all your tears

Baby i love you and i will never let u go
But if i have to
I am willingly to lose every of my possessions
To exchange
My love for U.

I am in love with this poem =/.. aniwae I AM totally sorry for making so many mistakes last few days.. and causing so much troubles. Love cannot be forced but humans can be forced? although i was writing like an arguementive text for my english compo test. Now i noe y force is such a STRONG word to be use le. Hais.

Every1 Chin Up. Alert Posture and stay attention!! we must learn how to motivate ourselves and study hard and strive for the best in whatever we do. ! do not let ur worries affect u too much!! oki I DEMAND every1 of u all wake up ur ideas and stop worryin around.

Todae kinda fun. had chemistry / physics then played badminton in the hall for P.E. my skills deproved a lot sia >.< . i was playin like an idiot liddat. Missing all my drop shots and back hand.. wow immapro =/ .. den was A.maths.. Do until luan .. hahaz. hmm then was recess and chemisty again.. Acids and Bases and sulphuric things..
hmm what oxidation and sulphur trioxide and dioxide. later i after blogging go revise le.. todae dunno y suddenly felt that something was urging me to study hard and pay attention!!. i managed to do that hahaz. then was 2 free periods in V.E .. nth to do 1.. talk here and there =/

After lessons . went to the air room to slack and play lf1 for a while .. den went to SSC to play soccer under nice weather.. was sweating like mad.. hmph went back school after that and saw so many tall tall germany students or adults in our canteen! guests of the day haha.. played soccer with a few of time in our own muddy school field but play until half way Mr tan told us to go off as we were in school uniform . cannot break school rules ma.. hais
after tt jiu walk home wif wanjoo and yiliang.. lols me and wanjoo went to a playground to walk walk play play.. i at the playgroud thinking of the past.. so many fond memories.. the 573 there the dragon that playground hahaz. nice place to enjoy and perhaps study!!. hahax =D i nid to go do my hw le.. ciaoz

13 . 07 . 05

2005-07-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

EEEEEkkkk 2dae sucks lols. . at home wanted to do hw end up was playing and smsing.. hmph then went raiders >.< . totally got wiped out by opponents hais.. played 4 v4 . l0st with my best hero Teh big elephant hais.. my score was very nice.. hmm got 4 .. 15 .. surprised hor ? totally offform den on my way home got 1 chio bu ask me donate $$ -.=" no money so i donated just $1 hahaz. it is the thoughts the count hor!!.. hmm i got a story of a boy to talk about todae hahas..

Here the story goes.. 2 years and a few months ago.. the person had just stepped into a new world, new environment and met new friends and buddies. he chose to be in the uniform group instead of sports thus allowing him to meet more friends from other class.

Months passed by and he was not that close with his primary school classmates. He had a new buddy in school that was SW. lols they shared joke and play around in class daily. He missed those times now. In the uniform group. he fell for a girl. A girl who make his heart melt once he sees her. He took the initiave to know the girl and very soon they became friends and talked and chatted but the boy did not dare to talk about relationship matters to the girl. Soon unknowningly to the boy. the girl got attached.. perhaps that was the 1st time the girl gave the boy a chance but he did not cherish. (1). The boy was sad but his was not affected by his thinking. He still led his usual life , playin . attending chalets and have fun while studying. He was still very close to his brothers. Talking and learning and sharing experience with them. and he was soon introduced to a game called Ragnarok. This game affected him a lot and it made him to sit in front of the computer almost the whole day. He play and played. met new online friends and was 100% mad about the game that it affected his studies.. his CCA. his relationship and friendship. He was a game addict by the way. He was spending $$ like water. buyin zenies from other ppl, going to lanshop frequently. Soon 6 mths pass and he had been in sec school for 18 mths .. he lost contact with quite a lot of good friend in primary school and was on the verge to quit ragnarok due to p2p and lost interest. At the time he realise that the girl was single again.

The boy began to attend his CCa again but was not that often than in the past. By August he had decided to attepmt to woo the girl again.. But before that. He liked another gal between feb to june but due to carelessness and forgetfulness . the friendship of the boy and the other gal declined as fast as it started. But in the few mths the boy learnt more about the other girl and his 2 good friends. The 3 good friends often go and hang out together and even had this nick H.W.T =). hmm but that did not last long although they are still using the nicks. Around August 23 the boy told the girl again that he wanted to woo her again. Second chances? (2). mayb the girl gave the boy another chance. As she did not reject the boy and was not that bothered when the boy told her that he still loves her. But weeks passed and the boy did not cherish the chances. It was like on off on off liking. He was too addicted in gunbound this time. Soon the boy had forgetten abt the girl but he did not know that the girl was steading again. But gaming was still number 1 at that time. private server and gunbound. he was shuffling between the 2 games and totally did not concentrate on anything. Soon the game D-day got into him, he and his best friend at that time was really visiting the lanshop almost everyday to train and play and soon dey were almost the best 2 in the lanshop. thrashin ppl but getting freaking lousy results in school. Hmm soon mths flew by again and soon it was december. The boy changed and began attending CCa for good and coped with studies and games. He got into his dream class as in 1st choice class. In december the girl gave the boy another chance? (3). The boy was serious this time and he thought and thought in Thailand. He was practically tinking what he will do and what he should do daily in his trip aboard. But everything changed once school reopen. The boy did not cherish the chances again and soon they 2 did not talked for a mth or 2?. The boy was busying watching movie with 2 of his classmates almost every monday and began to learn Dota and played more counter strike. New friends and new lifestyles like soccer and other games got into the way of the boy again. But on 1 fateful day in april. The boy suddenly told himself to wake up and began to start again. he was like a regular customer. hmm he did things and tried to please the girl in whatever way he can but 3 mths le he still failed to win the girl heart and the girl asked the boy to give up as she was not touched in her heart but the boy wanted to follow the footsteps of a knight. he was determine to continue and try his luck. but had the boy gone too far. what should the ending be? he had failed to cherish the chances in the past what about the future?

Can any1 continue the story from here onwards by tagging in my tagboard. thx for reading in the first place =)

10 . 07 . 05

2005-07-10T21:54:00.000+08:00

die die die .. very the tired now.. hahas studyin soon when i have time.. hmm yesterdae cugt training.. kinda fun.. learnt quite a lot bah lols.. mostly common sense =x .. hmm nid to teach platoon mates wor ... lols. for more details can ask shuwei ben ben yijun jason lionel junhao jocelyn youxu wanjoo cindy and others lols..

2dae crappy day .. long and tiring.. can die arh .. ncc day rehearsal @ safti again.. 2dae wake up ard 6.15. no voice -.- actually going school passt things at 7 but a bit sick sick so i nv go and slp longer. woke up at 8.30 again then still no voice hais.. ate some medicine and my breakfast den rush in my no 3 to amk mrt station to meet ehh benben lionel jason dennis yijun weijie jocelyn luoling sofiah cindy and still got a few more!! yiliang and jun hao were late =)) den took a long boring ride to boonlay mrt and ate kfc for lunch lols. at ard 11am liddat ... den took a shuttle bus to Safti where we had our rehearsal.. had 2 indoors rehearsal 1st .. quick slack but i stand until gong gong .. giddy giddy de =/ .. den after that go out for outdoor rehearsal.. can die ar.. stupid weather so hot -.-" .. den slack here slack there. marched out a few times and made a few mistakes lols .. hahaz sian 1/2.. hmm then when we were going to have full dress rehearsal tt time .. heng heng started to rain le.. so hide under shelter and wait .. lols but rain nv stop . end up we were taking the lightning with our camera fones lols.. hmm i took 2 photos of lightning and 1 video.. pro mar hahx.. jun hao sux =X .. miss all his shots lols .. hmm end up rehearsal canceled so go hm lor .. so good .. on mrt sth happen sia lols .. junhao and lionel argue and had a cold war lols.. hahaz i want to laff .. btw i bought a 1000 piece jig zaw at the pasar malam there lols. wonder how long will i nid to complet.. okie blog enuff le.. time for me to go rest.. i want to die le =)

05 . 07 . 05

2005-07-05T19:27:00.000+08:00

Studying ?? what crapp end up nv study at all ... brokenn promisses. sux . 2ml even if no 1 wan to pei me study then i will study on my own le.. or maybe i rather go home or go lib study . worst case i dun go for oritneering nia lor.. no big deall. 2dae sarks.. overall a bad day.. 2ml hope that life will be easier.. and times would pass faster.. i am getting sick of secondary school life.. how i wish that time would stop or we could teleport back into the past or even into the future. hais.. life sarks.. school rox ?? i cannot even concentrate

here a question.. pls reply.. sld i bring my hp to school ?? i find that it may be disturbing me in my pursuit of better results.. pls reply and give me advices. thanks

- WisHFuL - Made a WisH on the 05 of july`20o5 at 7.31pm .. WisHing upon a star

04 07 05

2005-07-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

hmmm quite late le going to slp soon hahas.. i wanted to post this thing and my internet explorer hang 2 times le .. now ish my 3rd time to post >.< this week is study week so will not be onlining tt often le . hope u guys and gals dun mind and dun miss me lols

oki nice poems that i saw and kop de ahahas

Im not a perfect person
Theres many things i wish i didnt do
But i continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so i have to say before i go
That i just want you to know I have found a reason for me
To change who i used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

Im sorry that i hurt you
Its something i must live with everyday
And all the pain i put you through I wish i could take it all away
And be the one
Who catches all your tears

Baby i love you and i will never let u go
But if i have to
I am willingly to lose every of my possessions
To exchange
My love for U.

hmm this 1 from newpaper de hahaz tension poem

hmm title A suggestion for your attention

The moment you are in tension
you will lose your attention
Then you are in total confusion
And you will feel irritation
This may spoil your personal relations
Ultimately you won't get cooperation
And get things into complication
Then you may raise caution
And you have to take medication
Why not try understanding the situation
And try to think of a solution
Many problems will be solved by discussion
Which will work out better in your profession
Don't think this is free suggestion
It is only for your prevention
If you understand my intention
You will never come again into tension.

meaningful hor ? moral ?? dun act rashly .. tink thrice b4 u work or do sth and u will be problems free hahax =D good nites all i going off le .. zai jian takecare of urself and lastly study hard!!!

04 . 07 . 05

2005-07-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

I want to watch War of the world >.< lord ="D">.< .. hmm the service was overall nice and meaningful .. hmm songs after songs and boxing btw the good and the evil.. of course good win lars lols .. hmm studying for the whole of this week so dun call me out for movie or play or lan or games pls .. i want to buck up de .. and i will do it jajajajaja lols =x

03 . 07 . 05

2005-07-03T03:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry >.<>.< .. SORRY .... duiii buuu qiiiiii .. realie sryy to you know who you are .. i hope u may puting urself in my shoes bah .. hmmmm actually got sth want to ask u de.. den forget to ask den things jiu crop up le haish.. nvm nvm nix time sitll got chances .. my attitude got sth wrong le ... nid 1 2hours to cool down in front of com wow .... hais ,

03 . 07 . 05

2005-07-03T01:52:00.000+08:00

fcuk up now la .. zzzzzzzzzzzzz talk until no mood wth and wtf -.-" ... zzzz sark la just now already not in good mood den tot toking can be better den 1 fucking retard ask him call he xia lan zzz why why why .. sorrie for using all this word but reallie nt in a good mood now.. then talk le still so many things crop up .. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ singapore sark . connection sark .. everything sark !!!1

- Current Mood - Fcuk UP!!!!@#$%#$^%$&$%&$%^%$^$%^$% yep I AM IN BAD MOOD !!!!!!!!!! ZZzzzZz dun tink i am going to call back le.. i got things i want to ask but some times the answer is i dunno .. ask le oso sian 1/2 ZZZ .. sorry to whom i am talking to just now >.< .. ZZZZz my temper SARKS!!!!! tmd now inter oso siao siao cb la ... sry to all who dun like bad words le esp sf .. cannot control paiseh >.< .. even i can control i oso will use f de .......... freaking fishy world ..... i later still nid to change blogskin .. my templete screw up Z ... I SUX

02 . 06 . 05

2005-07-02T21:36:00.000+08:00

Hi time for me to change a blogskin cos i screw my old up -.-

29 . 06 . 05 part ||

2005-06-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

Recently a lot of things happened.. In a flash 2 mths have passed.. Today many stuffs took placed too.. As i heaved a sigh of relieve and walked away from the mess that i have caused..

hmm okie .. 2dae at school was quite a fine day.. not that boring hmm.. Social Studies we were going thru mid year paperr and correction and after that it was 2 physics lesson.. i copied notes omgomg.. lols finally beginnin to understand what's going on. yep my friends were rite.. If i could pay attention for the whole lesson. i would definately get the formulas rite and begin to pass my exams .. slow and steadily.. maybe i changed ? . studies is much more important now but i have not yet relished my full potential yet hahas.

After this maths / recess / maths lols .. Yay i noe how to do maths le hor.. mai siao siao =x .. i nid more practise still .. beginning to like maths like i Did is primary school again.. so the sign for a1 is here again!! ... a1 all the way for maths!!! a or e .. i can do it de

Then was chinese .. Sian 1/2 .. boring boring boring .. i finally slacked and nv listen to what he talking hahaz.. sux la!!.. tok so much crap.. i study on my own better .. -.-" Woot then was english went dream studio to watch some clips l0rz.. then school ended le.. went to 3/3 see yuzhe cut hair =x .. den go air room / canteen slack for a while den went to ben bam hse wif jiamin and ben ben .. jocelyn came later.. hmm played and studied o.O there till 5pm den went sembawang collect things loLx.. den ben ben came my hse and slack and helped me till 9.30pm lOlx.. long and busy day for us ..

yep msging now ... Knights are borned warriors who doesn't give up without a fight. even if they are defeated and badly wounded. they will still have the last gasp to fight back or stand up on their feets.. Nv sae die attitude rocks .. Endure Preserve Like A knighT.. Missing my WisHin Knight hahazz .. Fading long old memories

29 . 06 . 05

2005-06-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

aiyeee now at ben ben hse lols.. wif jocelyn and jiamin and ben ben and his brother and his mother =x . lols

erm i NEED TO GROW UP !!!!! .. more matured tinkin and taller !!! lols.. hahas i am shortttt !! >.< .. i tried to tink in ppl shoes b4 .. maybe i got the wrong concept or maybe i tink too much . too far .. too long .. too immatured bah . dunnos .. try tinking in mine lols .. hahahahahahahs =x .. erm dunn0 .. maybe i shouldn't ask ben ben to show things !!! ahhhhh crap lols.. secret will leak out 1 day and i leaked my out -.-" wthhh lols .. hahas i go home den blog.. i wan go drink my milo le xD

28 . 06 . 05

2005-06-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

SIAN!!!!!!! hmmm today sarks!!! i mean school periods >.<

1st tupid period ish maths maths ler.. lols me and justin didn;t even pay attention l0r.. kept doing and doing on our own.. see we so pro.. loLs justin u v ke lian lor.. come band 4 den teacher still gif u face see =D

erm then was 2 oki oki group work session of chemistry.. Depletion of Ozone layer ><.. i need to buck up le.. dunno anythink hais.. den recess..

Ok + boring day + start le..
2 freaking periods of physics .. die die mr guang.. talk talk talk what pressure what thing what shit.. dun even understand a bit lors.. crappie -.- .. die liaos zz end of year physics sure gone case de ... hmm slept of a while then talk here talk there.. smsing too xD .. heck care charlie guang la.. his teaching totally Boring !!! .. okie cme then released at 1.30pm le woots .. erm then went air room to play LIFE lols. . play play a while den go off to do sth le .. went lib to complete my english comprehension den went arcade to play daytona and para para lors.. sian 1/2 .. den went wif youxu and lionel to see youxu cut hair den go raiders .. boring day ><

play cs lols ... knife here knife there =x on form lols.. den play dota .. used magnataur .. Reverse Polarsity ( should be correct spelling bah ) lols.. damn song.. old and fat elephant pwning ppl asses =x .. from 2dae onwards i am going to play Teh Elephant !!!! lols

oki stop crapping le.. i go do my english hw, chinese hw and physics hw le.. 2 hours to complete >.<

26 . 06 . 05

2005-06-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

WEEEE last day of hols .. so fast 1 mth g0ne le.. huhz.. Busy holidays.. did not even look like or feel like a holiday to me hahas..

YEP RANDY u are rited!!! i am lazi to blog hahas.. erm erm last few days ar... Some of Charlie Nco were having specs course while i was slacking all the way

Finally been to raiders 2 times to play.. one with esgy .. one with jun hao lols.. erm Cs skill = deprove le.. Dota = Die until so jia lat- -.- haha. time to work hard le.. hmm no not for games but for studies!!! i am going to have physics and a maths tuition O.O.. homework and more homework

Hmm ok i sae until here ler.. nid to go gan hw le. hahas.. erm for some1. DUN give up easily h0r .. u have chosen the things u wanted to do le.. and u must work hard for it.. not give up half way!! jiayoux

BEST of luck and best wishes to everyone for the new semester!! we must strive together and get to the top together xD.. one for all .. all for 1.. Charlie and Fellow human beings rawks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun in the upcoming days / weeks / months / years xD

I am beginning to miss my primary school sighz. new timetable sux to the c0re.. haiz.. erm but anyway 6/1`o2 rockssssssss

22 . 06 . 06

2005-06-22T02:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm long time nv blog again -.- . I am v v v busy at the moment HAHAs..

Went Ben Bam Hse to stay on 20.o6.o6. What happened on that day ??.. Hmm recalling .. OH YA .. ROD PARADE !!!!!!

Okie Let's Turn the time back to 19.o6.o6.. I woke up at ard 11 am.. Bath and met Jocelyn And Benedict @ amk central @ 12noon .. Took A bus Down to JiaMin hse downstairs and met Lionel the hua Chi =x .. Went for lunch before g0ing to Jiamin hse.. At 1st we dun dare to Go in until Jiamin led us in lols.. 1st time going to a ger hse in ages .. Jiamin Claims that her house is messy -.- Then i Had been living in a Pig style for years le .. If thats is the fact.. Her House quite big and V neat l0r. Except for her study room =x .. and maybe her room ( didn't visit it ) .. Did the charts with them although i am not in spec course loLs.. Den JiaMin went for Tuition @ 4pm so me LionEl bEn bEn and j0CelyN went for a walk .. Hmm Buy some plums .. Very salty but quite nice lols.. still in my bag .. who wans come and find ME. then we went to Jiamin Hse downstairs and continue doing as the library was close .. They doing and talking while i was rotting away =/ ..

Lionel Left @ ard 6pm liddat then left Me Joyce and Ben Ben .. LOLx JiaMin's Dad offered us Durian but we rejected .. den JM came back at 6.30 liddat .. Some1 tuition teacher released them late by 30 min sia.. Headed to coffeeshop For DinneR den go back Jiamin hse l0r .. play play and do do do .. We are rottin in front of her com and searchin for kn0ck it d0wn song and Ncc sOnG.. Time Flies .. den already 9.50 pm le . we 3 shared A cab back to Ang Mo Kio xD .. Me and joyce took till 527 the market there .. Ben bEn dropped off earlier at raiders there.. Hmm met my parents at S11 .. FATHER'S DAY T_T .. they were eating .. so me and joyce went to the nearby 7-11 .. bought icecreams as FATHER"S DAY presents LOL .. the both of us .. den pei joyce go bus stop b4 rushing home to kip my presents.. lllalalalala end of the day.. LOL boring day if u read here but actually it was a Very enjoyable and LAme day =X

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ... I LOVE YOU DADDY !!!!!!!

20 . o6 . o6

MonDaY - RoD pArAdE

WokE up @ 5.27am .. earlier den jiamin who woke up at 5.30am lOls.. Then rushed to the bus stop to meet jiamin and joycelyn and ben ben.. wanted to buy pringles de.. but shop and save still close.. sorrie sorrie.. Hmm Den met only joyce and jiamin .. Ben ben just woke up .. so the 3 of us went to skool 1st... lionel and jackie were there liaos.. prepared the gifts for nco and polish my boots xD.. Then there was sth on my mind at that moment .. sth like this

Who is the person i like now ??
I was tinking of that at this moment
I was trying to run away from the fact that I still like you
but i denied and attempted to lie to every1
I failed.
The truth was out
I cannot forget U...

Yep thats rite.. i still like her l0r.. if not i would not be doing all those things .. Haiz i am a failure.. failure in studes.. failure in relationship .. T_T ..
Okie continue .. we had training from 8.30am to 11.20am liddat then the big day and finally after waiting for 2 years 6 mths.. the day was here .. the time was up .. ROD PARADE.... we fall in in front of flag post and knew our post..

Usm = Yijun *congrats*
Asm = Benedict ( congrats )
Part C = Shuwei
Part B = Jocelyn
Part A = Cindy

OOO i got double assistant lols.. hmm my post arhs.. APS for Part B. under Jocelyn =/ And A.Treasurer .. V v v happie lols.. LioneL part C aps.. Jiamin Part B aps .. yiliang SNR =x loLs.. hmmm i need to buck up nix mth .. i want my post de. !!!!!! 1 mth prohibition T.T .. I almost cried as the sec 4 march off and threw their berets. hey hey is almost hor .. but nv !!!! . Boi shed blood but not tears xD .. erm had buffet after that .. den talk talk talk and prize ceremony @ the hall.. after that sec 1 and 2 go home liao.. then some sec 3 stayed back and do charts .. for specs course de... I rushed home and changed and bath b4 rushing back to school.. took ard 25 min nia lols.. den help jiamin and others do charts .. One by one all went off =/ .. left me and ben ben and sgt dunno how to spell . =x .. went mac for dinner together wif my lunch and breakfast. den went home and take things and went to ben Ben hse to stay over !! .. did more charts at ben ben hse lols.. and smsed chat wif a few ppl .. JIAMIN DUN GIVE UP !!! must get OOC or OC de ... for all those going spec course .. Life is full of ups and downs .. so this course is just a Down .. Must endure and perserve .. WE ALL are NCOs le.. if we cannot endure.. how do we expect our juniors to fellow and learn from us leh ..

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...
Life can be blissful and happy and free...
Life can put beauty in the things that you see...
Life can place challenges right at your feet...
Life can make good of the hardships we meet...
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...
Life can reward those determined to win...
Life can be hurtful and not always fair...
Life can surround you with people who care...
Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...
Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

So.....

Take the Life that you have and give it your best...
Think positive, be happy let God do the rest...
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet...
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet...
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall...
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all...
Take the love that you're given and return it with care...
Have faith that when needed it will always be there...
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see...
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free...
The idea here is simply to even the score...
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War

I will not give up till i win ur heart de .. and i want u not to give up .. not to cry . not to lose hope . never sae i am tired or i want to give up .. i am willingly to remove and share all ur worries and lessen ur burden off ur shoulders.. i rather be the 1 who is suffering the course instead of u .. but now it is ur turn .. i want u to prove that u can do it .. and be the best..

As for todae i mean 21.06.06

Nth much happen.. went wif ben ben to yck mrt station to meet jiamin .. joel .. lionel .. meiyan.. luoling .. wen bin i tink ( st.gab ) and a few more .. den took a cab with jiamin joel and wenbin into amoy quee camp there.. den sae byEBye and good luck to them .. as they booked in while Me and meiyan walked out lo.. erm met up wif ben ben and luo ling and sofiah @ yck mrt station .. dey went to ben ben hse while i went home to sleep.. slept till 2pm den went out to raiders for a while .. play play =x 3rd time going raiders in the whole holidays.. this show how busy am i loLs.. den went ben ben hse to do Joel's Ifc and Tf charts .. hmmm after at ard 9pm .. met Justin @ raiders and played dota dota lols ... till ard 10.30pm liddat den went home and continue to do joel chart till ard 1 am -.= . den finish .. hmm gonna meet ben ben and luoling and sofiah @ 7am haha.. i tink i better go slp le.. Nitex all .. Lols... this few days had been fun .. but if i continue to go on liddat .. i tink i can die haas.. going to tire myself out .. I WAN TO BE wif U .. Protecting U and Suffering from U .. Lols.. Wo xiang tai duo le bahx........ i go rest le .. 2 hours more nid to wake up -.- Stupid Joel =X .. make me worrie for ur chart ....

I am feeling - + O r N - again .. haiz..

17 . 05 . 05

2005-06-18T02:43:00.000+08:00

i later 2dae then post okie ?? dying liao.. look at the time now.. my eyes want close. i am having a cold .. running nose and i did not have a nice and proper rest for v v long le..

I am still tired .. haven recover from some setbacks.. my life is getting messier and messier .. i oso dunno what i doing now.. perhaps i nid to do 1 thing @ 1 thing

i nid to improve my studies.. so that i can go to a JC.. stop playin too many games and concentrate on studies -.-".. save $ for ppl b'dae presents. and get back into the top few of the schools haha..

later i will be sharing the fun and the misery of our ncc chalet and my beloved 6/1` 02 gathering cum steamboat.. loLz happie memories ler. i did enjoy myself reallie i did .. for the chalet.. Quite nice and good lolz.. the steamboat was great.. meetin up wif old friends and buddies.. reallie shuang hahaz.. hope that we can have more chalet and more gathering in the future..

Look forward to my later post hor ??

btw i want to apologise to jun hao and benedict abt the swimmin thing 2dae.. sorrie guys .. i tink i was too tired tts y b4 i went into the bathroom to get ready.. i fell asleep till 8.30 pm .. sorRie.. pls 4give me hahax

12 . 06 . 06

2005-06-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

Wish that i could just return to the past and change the past..
u had given me chances after chances
but i failed to cherish those in the past
how dumb i was.
Could i have a second chance?
to give it a go?
all my fate
nows
depends on U
. yes U
i know u noe that U are the 1
U .

11 . 06 . 06

2005-06-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

i love you once and now i felt l0st . i am still holding on . hidding the truth and facing the reality .. can some1 help me ? and wake me up ???

- How do I say what I think about you
- Words to describe your beauty are too few
- Kisses from your lips I would forever steal
- Mere words can not say what I feel

How do I say what I feel in my heart
I dream of holding you in the dark
I dream of loving you in the day
I search deeply to find the words to say

- How do I say what I dream in the night
- Dreams so real, I feel you holding me tight
- Close my eyes and drift away in sleep
- Your sweet kiss I taste in my dream so deep

How do I say what I want you to hear
My arms would hold you forever near
You are truly beautiful, I want you to know
I want to embrace you and never let go

- How do I say the words I cannot find
- How do I say all the things in my mind
- How do I say when the words are too few
- How do I say how much I truly love you

I love you since day 01 . the day we met was the happiest thing that happened in this last few years
[x] Memories fading [x]
[x] All g0ne in a flash [x]
[x] Dreams shattered [x]
[x] But i nid to face it [x]
[x] Others doesn't matter [x]
[x] I Love You now and then [x]
[x] Z +he End Z [x]

I hope u will understand my feelings now.. i am so - + 0 r N -

10 . 06 . 05

2005-06-10T01:00:00.000+08:00

okie .. this is going to be a veri the long post ler..

hmmm 0kay..

03 . 06 . 05

1st dae of the ncc camp ..
suppose to fall in @ 2pm de.. but as junhao was slping over @ my hse the nite b4. so me and jun hao took a cab to Mac opp skool de.. and met lionel, jiamin, yijun, yuzhe and a few more there.
Lionel Broke his cup --". aniwae Jiamin is scare of insects ahahahha fake de oso scared =x
Okie den we went to school and slack and plan for the events ahead.. a bit sian sian loL.. aniwae tough to do last minute planning ..
2pm fall in.. 1st event was CHANGING parade.. TMD.. my no 3 nv polish .. nv starch .. then my belt SPOLIT .. haiz.. rushed to the air room and borrowed a belt loLx.. had 7 minutes to change from no 4 to no 3.. but the whole parade, we were late for all.. The result ? Knock it down !!!... aiya.. thats was expected le.. tekan and more tekan .. after changing parade was drill mutual .. my 1st time wor.. dunno what to do.. heng i not 1st.. Lol.. i was 2nd last in fact.. wanted to do henta on the march .. duno y i go do kekenan and kekiri ... I PASSED U NOE!!! onli 3 out of 15 i tink in my group pasSed .. haha got 30 / 50 !!! so happy.. after the thing was PT. Veri slack de Pt Lol.. 1st time ever.. no nid to do any station =/ .. then was dinner !!.. the food still edible. . quite nice for a camp .. haha.. after dinner song bo ler ... Interview .. i saw the schelde in air room .. interview suppose to be 1h 30 min then become 4 hours -.-".. we went to 4T2 to wait.. aniwae girls bunk was 4T1 .. bois de 5A .. so the room in between lo ... I was the bunk iC for the 1st dae anywae ... erm waited and waited .. was in the last few too .. then rush rush rush .. ncc 7 core values and pledge then questions ler.. they ask a lot of questions that are damn hard to answer sia .. tmd ..i tink i screw myself lo .. after interview.. wash up then fire drill -.-" .. Part C kena demote to Recruits .. wth lo .. still nid to take out boots and do drills .. onli Cuo JiamIn nid to march ahhahahahaa .. Must endure.. endure.. after that finally ... I can SLEEP ler ... i msg ppl told them not to give up b4 i fell asleep on my hand fone -.-"

04 . 06 . 05
Hmm 2nd day le.. woke up @ 6.30 am den fall in.. my job now ish LOG ler.. veri the slack =x .. but got a lot of things to do .. set up things and pack things and clear things and make breakfast / lunch / dinner / supper !! . hmm 1st event was to set up telematch for me .. nid to move 12 tables to the field -.-" and the man power was pathetic. . onli got me . jason . kheng meng and hazwani .. cwo came and help us .. weilun junhao and joel.. i want to sae a big THANK YOU to them . without them i dunno how we can cope lor .. then return to canteen.. got a big shock -.-" so many ppl fall out ler wth.. after that they came and played the telematch while we make water balloon for water war and set up things for field cooking .. at the same team .. sweepp and clear canteen =/ ..
okie.. lunch.. FIELD cooking =D .. prepareed everything le.. den they eat after cooking .. i shared the tin with Jason .. =D .. chicken abalone noodles loL.. a few part C no wei kou sia.. hmm den the rest all continue wif their eventsl.. i not sure ish what ler.. i noe then log and cwo cleared the mess and i prepare for IFC and water war and tug of war.. me and weilun pull the rope to the parade square and it was then we knew the event sld be @ the field -.-" tmd .. need to pull to field lor .. den they prepare the water balloons hao le .. so we oso drag them to the field there.. after about 1 hour all of them went to the field and played!! hmm i skipped the water war.. dun want to get wet lOlx.. den all play play l0r.. after dat we need to clean up the mess -.-" .. i clear until half way den the catering came lOL.. Nice dinner.. got what black pepper chicken etc.. we waited for them .. they had bunk inspection .. haiz i wanted to be there with them to suffer the tekan . but nv. SORRY MY FELLOW CHARLIES FRIENDS .. SOrry ... then all the bois got a nick name " worst than ger" .. aiya .. this is part of the plan .. sldn;t get worked up ma .. a lot of them no wei kou again -.-' .. i ate my own meal .. jiamin de and 1 more dunno whose de.. then i suggested that we (( log )) clear up for them . while the rest go back to do their things.. cos we reallie off schelde ler .. so after clearin up already quite late.. then we go prepare for night of fear.. set up 6 stations that included .. rambutans.. fake insects .. glue.. frogs.. mealworms.. and lastly sea cucumber !!. 2 were at the dnt blk there 2 @ hall and 2 @ canteen .. the canteen was pitch dark btw ... aniwae i had a headache at the point .. after the night of fear .. the cadets had camp fire.. while logs and cwo clear up and made supper.. MY tupid head getting painner and painner -.-" took 1 penadol from jackie.. but still no effect.. veri the pain .. den after that izwan and rachel and johnathan talked to us. . sae our standard dropped.. i agreed =/ i wanted to give up but i was tryin to hold my composture.. and ENDURE.. we can do it.. i believe we made it and soon it was night time.. My headache still haven ok -.- pain pain pain.. the pain reallie is almost unbearable..

05 . 06 . 05
3rd day le..
hmm woke up late lol.. the alarm rang and i press away -.-" .. hmm brush my teeth then fall in ler.. they pt while we make breakfast .. hmm jason and khengmeng go take water while hazwani was making things @ the canteen .. me and Junhao dunno doing what.. i forget ler lOL. -.- " then shuwei was sick so i pei him go sick bay .. he take temperature but nth wrong haha .. then me . jackie . luoling and jason go bishan park .. put clues and prepare for the amazing race.. the rest were still suffering in school =( .. sorry sorry.. i heard that almost all bois from part C fall out .. left lionel and yi liang.. Sorry .. i was not with u all .. i noe i am lucky to be in l0g .. but i wan to suffer what u all are suffering -.- . one for all .. all for 1 ma .. .. we placed the clues all ard bp .. i walked until damn tired -.- " from 1 end to the other.. hmm then after that we went back to skool lo .. had lunch .. oh ya.. i was still suffering from headache .. ate 3 penadols LOL.. wait over dose i laff .. then i was told to be Cuo and jun hao acuo LOL.. but the both of us already fall out le.. he i dunno what pain . and i was headaching -.- " stupid sia. . 12 hours ler still haven ok ... then after that master parade and GO HOME .. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .. sth lame happen at the end .. the bois bunk de key lost =/ .. then we all tink tink tink poor ben ben lol .. den in the end the key was found stuck @ the door .... wth . all bois too tired le.. .den pa jiao .. ...... aiya den we went mac .. hmm i ate 1 icecream lo .. den shared cab with jason and junhao home =)).. reach home put bag.. change clothes.. bath for 30 minutes then go raiders ler . loL.. lame sia .. i tire ler still go raiders. met youxu glenn and edwin and manager .. then we play play 5 v 5.. keep rematch sia lol.. all pek chek then play 4th game then we lost 3 v 5 sia .. loL ... sian 1/2 .. we anyhow play .. crap. aiya den i go home and sleep ler..

06 . 06 . 05 to 08 . 06 . 05 = GOLD WIING COURSE.. dun want to sae .. DAMN tired ler nw .. 2ml den explain . HAHHAHAHA =D

09 . 05 . 05
Okay todae.. after camp and course le time to have fun =)) .. hmm i yue ben ben 10am de.. but end up 2pm then meet lOL. .. i went raiders @ 12 to 2 liddat then junhao cycle to amk and met me @ raiders . played for a while .. den we 2 rush to blk 322 meet ben ben .. went ben's hse to take bike and pump JH's bike .. den we cycle to a nearby coffeeshop 4 lunch =)) atee Shao Rou Fan .. hmm den we all cycle to school . and see npcc camp LOL .. so fun .. we walk ard while they suffer ahahahahha .. then staff yusni was @ skool =) .. told us some stuffs and ask for 3 cadets in charlie to go for 2ml for npcc camp fire nite.. lOl me ben and junhao straight away volunteered haahaha =x .. sorry hor .. enthu ma .. bo wei gong hor =/ .. then we cycled to bishan map .. went to playground play play .. climb climb play slides loL.. den cycle cycle .. den GOt 1 dog follow us -.-" . I continue to cycle den ben and JH play with the dog .. we cycle to the market @ bishan there to buy drinks and some food to lure that dog lol .. bad intention hahaxX .. erm aiya too tired to explain .. hmm juNhao used a rope and kidnapped the dog home in the end HAHHAHAHA =x .. then me and ben cycle to his hse.. and rest and put bag .. then i went raiders again . Lol.. kk i end ler.. wan an i want go orhorh ler =x . btw i haven bath since afternoon-.-"

06 . 06 . 05

2005-06-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

I will be posting either 2nite or 2ml .. sorry for not postin for the last few days .
Had ncc camp and Ncc gold wing course =))..

01 . 06 . 05

2005-06-01T23:05:00.000+08:00

HAppy 1 mth old to my blog and welcome me back from Genting...

aniwae i 2ml then blog my adventures there .. 2dae dun feel like blogging.. just reached singapore at 9.50pm den reached home @ 10 ++ ..

I am really tired.
I want to let go.
I want to forget.
My troubles and worries.

My mind is stopping.
My heart is crying.
My pace is slowing.
I want to let it go.

Torn into pieces.
Raptured dreams.
Crappy thrash talking.
Can i let it go?

Since the day i chosen this path.
I knew that someday,
I will give up.
But is the day coming soon?
Why am i having this kinda feeling now?
Is my time up yet?
I want to preserve and continue.
But i want to let it all go to0.
Which is better for me?
Look ahead or give up?

- Shattered dr3amZ -
- + o r N - aka -= VenGancE =-
Gone with the silent wind. Losing Hope!

27 . 05 . 05

2005-05-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

2dae will be nicholas last day in singapore ler bah ??
Bon Voyage nicholas.. hope that we will be able to meet again .. sumday, sumwhere, sumhow.!!
2ml going airport.. let's predict how many ppl will cry bah..

Aniwae i dun tink i can blog that often ler.
June holidays damn busy
And my tupid computer is getting louser and louser
Plus my internet connection now siao siao
Sometimes i may be able to get online
But as i am chiong MSsea now
I guess i will not be spending too much time talking and blogging ler
xD

23 . 05 . 05

2005-05-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

I will not be a pest from today onwards.. anything that i hear from your mouth.. i will take that to be the only answer even if u change ur mind in the future and change ur answer i will not give it a damn. The 1st answer represents everything so ppl .. better think thrice before u talk.

Sometimes staying in a grp means that u will get used by others . helping to look out for things ?? why should i care.. if the things does not concern me .. and u all need my help to look out .. why should i bother ? that's not my problem aniwae .. if u all want to do something and need to wait . just wait ? why want me to help u all to wait while u ppl are having fun urself ? Aniwae i will not be a pest and i will not be playin any "angel" animore. do not expect me to show or do any favours to any1 ler.. ur problem = ur problem .. mine = mine .. u settle urself dun come and look for me ..!!

Talking about pest . i find that i had be quite foolish for the pass few weeks or mths .. everything i treat ? allowing u all to take advantage? well it is time to end all these.. now if i want to go raiders or aniwhere i will go by myself or make sure that those who goes with me have enuff $$. no $$ then i will stay at home l0r.. rotting by the com is better den wandering on the street lookin at ppl .. I am a idiot in the past but i will not continue to be 1.. time to grow up !! study is more important than games and wastage of $$ .. imagine the school fees? they are getting more and more as each year pass .. i nid to save $$ instead of spending .. i have NOT start working so i cannot spend that much money !! i need to thnx a few ppl who woke me up.. by the way .. i noe that i will have a hard time to succeed in somethings that i attempt to do .. but sometimes i need to learn how to let things go .. things will not always be on my side. failure or success all depends on me; myself.. as an em1 pupil Lol how can i forget about all these things? i shouldn't had been in this school in the 1st place.. i screw my PSLE up and it is all my own fault so i need to push myself . i need to improve!! better results = better life in the future!! I will not let girls take over the world RoFl xD .. nid to prove to ppl that bois are not useless .. they can be v v v smart too.. but the choices is theirs.. choose it or not is entirely up to me !!!

The Quote of the week

2005-05-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

RELATIONSHIP QUOTE #006"
If you give too much too soon,
you put too much pressure on the relationship.
You have a responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries.
Enjoy the pursuit, but don't get totally caught up in it.
Don't treat the beginning of a relationship as though it's already the most important relationship you'll ever have.
You don't know what's going to happen.
If this new person's interest is as relaiable as you think it is, it's not going to disappear overnight.
We've said it before, and we'll say it again:
If this is the romance of your lifetime, you'll have a lifetime to enjoy it.
So slow down."
(SOURCE: He's Scared, She's Scared. Understanding the Hidden Fears Sabotaging Your Relationships )

21 . 05 . 05

2005-05-22T19:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY B'dae Eric ..

Todae went to weijie hse at sembwang for a while before going with youxu to meet priscilla and headed to amk. Benedict, Rynel, han sheng, yuzhe, yijun, jiamin, lionel were at wj hse too.. heard that later meiyan and a few more came..

Met up with edwin, Glenn, Andrew, peixin and about 6 - 7 more at amk l0r.. glenn, edwin and i went to gsc ( goodspeed cyber ) for a while to play play .. there de com simply sux lor .. so hard to play and load so long de zZ.. den all of us met up and went to s-11 to sit sit tok tok .. actually we wanted to go to east coast for a buffet? nicholas de farewell buffet i tink .. but in the end nv go .. so esgy went to raiders lor .. met marcus and his friend there. but nv play with him lar .. we played our own private game then khoon hin came and find us for a while ..@ ard 8.30pm esgy came to my hse for dinner =/ .. i told my mum to cook dinner for us @ 7.30 but we were 1 hour late loLx .. after dinner was slacking time and we rotted in front of the com till 10pm. den they all called their parents ask if they could ton at my hse till 2ml .. wow 1st time all parents agreed sia .. rush to raiders aand played again till 12.25am den went to 7 - 11 and had our supper and a small conference. we took the park route home and were scaring ourself on the way LOL .. ok then they came my hse and play play play till morning lor .. played asdf hoverboard . street fighter . pillow fight -.- . cards . o2jam and cs 1.6 i tink .. aniwae most of the time i was asleep .. too tired ler .. haven recover from the training ..

20 . 05 . 05

2005-05-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

Wow .. today is such a tiring day. School, Games and Training.

Finally after months, i had attended a full Ncc air training. today's training was damn fun and challenging. dunno knock how many times down =/ Lionel, JiaMinz, JunHao and i were the PTI for the day. but the PT was totally not following the plan .. started off late. made a few last minutes decision too. The worst part is that i had an awakard feeling when i was doing the warmup, 1st time facing the rest and not shouting together with them. A bit odd odd de. Tough life ahead.. zZ
Iiii want to be a quarter master LOL. .. wonder what will it be like if i manage to get that post.
June 20 take over ler. So near yet so far and Shuwei wants to quit now -.- .. Uncle Shuwei .. U and i joined Ncc together and although i keep saying that i want to quit but i am still here right ? so i forbid u to quit =)) .. go get ur USM post and mantain the unit lar .. quit what quit zZ

After ncc trning came home ler.. Tired lyk fuck .. legs cramp body aching hands tired.. wanted to go raiders de but too bad.. fell asleep sadded lor.. i just on my air con, off the fan, off the light then 5 min later.. g0ne ler -.-"" this shows how weak i am now .. cnt even tahan 50 push ups in a row... Haiz .. need to train train ler this few weeks .. Aniwae i dun tink i will be cutting the stuppid short hair style lar .. veri the -.- leh .. Ncc Rocks!! wonder wtf was wrong with me last year..

Now as i am bloggin. i am writing a letter / reply back to 2 persons. I hope that they will be happie now and not sad instead .. Most importantly ish must smile hor =)))))))))))))))))))))

19 . 05 . 05

2005-05-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

not going to blog long todae.. dun feel like blogging.. =)) nitex and take caree all

18 . 05 . 05 ( results )

2005-05-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

Juz for Your information and if u want to know how poor i fared in this exams.. here it is !!

- English Comprehension
21 / 50 = failed

- Chinese Compo
38 / 50
6.5 / 20

- Chinese Paper
44 / 80

- Emaths
32 / 50
41 / 50

- A maths
25 / 100

- Chemisty
Just passed =X .
58 / 100

- Physics
21 / 30

okie that;s mine .. now it is time that u should tell me urs =D

18 . 05 . 05

2005-05-18T22:38:00.000+08:00

WEEEEEEEE .. finally i made my IC ler !!!!!!! xD

Just now after school.. i rushed home to get my clothes changed .. sry to ______ ar. . i tried to rush to arcade ler .. but loLx.. not that lucky todae.. the stupid 88 so long den come .. summore when i reach the bus stop tt time .. 265 just went off .. TaMaDe zZ .. sianzZ .. waited for lyk 10 mins b4 the tupid bus finally came .. Sorrie !!!!!! i could had walk back home .. but a bit lazi .. sooo sorri arh ..
- Reach home ler .. faster faster grabbed 1 Shirt and any pair of jeans then rush to toilet and bath .. bath bath .. but butt .. as u all noe .. i onli bath in hot water de .. so i waited for lyk 4 min for the water to get warm l0R.. hopee tt u dun mind .. that's y i often late for meetings de ..

Met edwin and youxu @ jubilee there @ ard 3.30pm .. then the baka GLENN!!! still nowhere to be found .. gave him 3 messages and 10 miss call -.- .. den dulan liao .. so we all walk to his hse .. bang bang the door and realised that he is still in his skool u .. sleeping .. .. nvm so we waited for him lor.. actually is 3pm leave amk de den end up we all 4.00pm den take cab to Lavander to make my IC xD .... thx ar .. pei me go make ic lolx .. reach there at 4.15 lidat .. den take queue number .. dunno who sae got chiobu but nv see.. sad sad .. nvm !!. . go take my photo 1st .. like an idiot liddat.. those want see .. 2ml come my class find me =X .. saw jiAmin photo loLx ... her's is much more beta than mine lor. . hAIz .... queue no 335 .. number of ppl in line 15 .. wow ..

after that got bad news lOL.. glenn and edwin cannot renew their passport cos under 16 nid parents to be wif them .. sad sad .. then got more bad news.. karen called and said .. She forget to take edwin de anime and left them at arcade .. once edwin hear this he stunned tio lidat lar .. den we took turns to make fun of karen l0rx.. quite fun

okie .. thats all ler .. the rest is the same as usuall = arcade and lan gaming again bah .. 2dae [ESGY] won a 5 v 5 game.. youxu playin sand king .. glenn Naga .. Edwin skeleton king .. me Vengeful Spirit ++ 1 more teammate playin LioN .. loL quite an easy game bah ... aiya CS.. todae Edwin knifed youxu lOLx.. suay sia nUbbie .. 2dae some1 used a new nick -.- ... Fireman .. wow .. aiya .. stupid Daniel .. aniwae he was with his gf at com 150 o.O

18 . 05 . 05

2005-05-18T01:31:00.000+08:00

Meeting You
was pure destiny,
You and I
were meant to be.

Maybe not now
but someday soon,
We'll meet not under the sun
but beneath the moon.

We'll watch the stars
'till they fade away,
but we won't fade
together we'll always stay.

This is the day
I'm waiting for,
from that day
I'll love you more and more.

I can't wait to watch
the sun set with you,
every sunset from that day
'till the rest of our lives are through.

Every SunSet by Jessica Voyles

I find this poem a meaningful that i can use to express my feelings to u. I told u what i thought of on the phone but to show my sincerity. I am going to post it here. =)) Hope that you can read this as soon as possible

17. 05. 05

2005-05-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY B"DAE JING DA =))))

Ehh last night never post so sry .. was at edwin;s hse .. to ton overnight loLx .. hmm yesterday was quite an interesting day ..

Had our last two papers .. chinese and history.. chinese was fucking dumb .. i do 3 to 4 questions ler .. eyes close liao .. body peng liao .. den wake up .. dododo and sleep sleep sleep again .. heng i completed the paper if not can go die liao . History was quite easy oso lar .. ehh better than SS is all i can sae bah.. at least i could do all the questions can ler ..

After the papers.. me youxu and glenn waited for edwin who takes geog instead of history ( extra kia in esgy ) =x .. ermm.. den went to edwin's hse to watch watch anime for a while b4 taking a cab home to change and go sakae sushi .. yesterdae de "colour" was black so i wore all black lor .. except red shoes loLx.. seldom wear that pair of shoes de.. aniwae yesterdae finally had my mood changed for the better again .. good good ..so long nv "that" happie liaos =))
Went to sakae with Glenn Wanjoo Karen Edwin LuoLing Jocelyn aka Helmet and Jasmine rite?
Yep sld be correct bah .. ate abt 12 plates nia .. wanted to go steamboat de .. but hor due to some last minutes changes .. we went back to amk arcade b4 going to raiders lor..

- I admit that whatever shit happen to my mind on 15 . 05 . 05 was totally my own fault =) .. i want to apologise to all my friends who read it .. But i oso admit that i like u .. so ?

After raiders. we had our dinner at KFC b4 heading to edwin hse for animess .. till 2 am liddat bah .. then i like every 1 hour will wake up 1 time lor.. on edwin's bed.. summore his room is sooooo cold. .air con dam "on form" =/..

17 . 05 . 05 - went home @ 11am .. changed and went to meet QingKang , Jennson ( dunno how to spell xD) , JiaMin , Wanjoo , Edwin and Sofiah @ market ard 12 pm liddat.. den they all went bugis or ehh Plaza Singapura lorxx .. i dun feel lyk going so i went to woodlands walk walk 1st then took a bus to amos hse.. he was scripting his server then i learn a bit by a bit lorx.. loL 1000 Antonios on the same map wahahahx. sry EliE .. i murdered u xD .. oki i have decided to go back to irc.. time to make more friends =D .. ehh .. then arif , amos and I went to xZone for where b4 going to Raiders again .. i tink raiders is my 2nd home ? everydae go there for a while de .. oki sianz.. went to yishun again at 9pm then got no "shou huo" so i came back amk at 10.15 liddat lor.. now at home blogging ler xD

15 . 05 . 05 Part 3

2005-05-15T03:24:00.000+08:00

- Cross the creek fall and dround,

it's all the pain that i have found,

suck in water breath no air,why not die?

cause they don't care!!!!!
How i feel almost everyday

- Tears flying

Soul crying

Life dying

This is me.

- Dreams breaking

Heart aching

Laughs faking

Let it be.

- Not admired

Body tired

Mind wired

Stop the agony.

- Love yearning

Spirit burning

Nerves turning

Losing mentality.

- Time lasting

Fear masking

Hope passing

This is me....

- This is me,

Dying lonely.

15 . 05 .05 Part 2

2005-05-15T02:45:00.000+08:00

Current Mood - Suicidal

I hate myself to the core.. terrible feeling running thru my head now .. DIE DIE .. death is the best solution .. i want to DIE !!!!!! .. things are going wrong for me now .. i dun even know wat's my feelings now .. sadded ? well the truth is i had lost complete control of time .. perhaps it is time for me to cool everything down ? Studies ? Friends ? Games ? RelationShip ?? i find all this obstacles in life and getting tougher and harder as days go by ? death is the easiest thing i can thing of now .. Group Suicide ? Aiya .. i must apologise to those reading this fucking post now .. i can tell u that i am fucking sorry for fucking wasting ur time to read this fucking useless post of mine now .. i just need to find a way to let it out now .. and i chose here.. sorry to waste all of ur time .. i sucks ..rite ?. .okay well, death ? hopefully if i go out 2ml i will get knock down by a car =)) fractured skull ? Dislocated bones? i dun care.. just die can liao =) .. die and no more miseries .. so funn .. so cool .. soo good .. haiz .. definately a good solution =D .... i had live for 15 years .. y still want so long ? .. i am so selfish ? 15 years enuff ler la.. time to end my life and give a life to some1 else? reborn ? god knows . no1 can tell what am i thinkin of now .. sad ?. . even i dun even know why the fuck am i write all this fucking crap here now .. 2.45 am .. should be sleeping but instead i am posting this shit here. but lastly i want to sae is DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. !! i should be dead since day 1 .. why did i live in the 1st place? wasting all ppl time to know me and cared for me .. sorrie to waste ur time to read this post again .. My life is nth much actually . having 1 more person = spending more $$ - wasting more things on earth - wasting teacher's and parent's saliva to teach and scold me .. - wasting friends time to play and go out with me - wasting the earth resources .. ok all this can come to a stop if i can just DIe and end my life here . now at this moment.. i dun need any1 concern nor care.. i am a loner .. i want to die .. DIE ..... lonely .. ok sorrie to waste TIME again .. time to apologise

Good friends- Edwin. glenn . youxu - No more raiders for me
jiamin -- dunno what to sae to u lolx.. stay healthy and happie
friends - sollie to waste ur time to know me
family- 15 years is enuff... definately enuff
randy - thx god for allowing me to know u

ok this is a totally bullshit post here.. sorrie to waste all ur time .. i just need to let it out now .. perhaps i have 2 form of myself ? the mood in my mind is chaning every 10 sec.. Sorrie

15 . 05 . 05

2005-05-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

- Current Mood --> Moody .. A bit Upset

Haizz 2.30 am liao .. just now a lots of things happen la.. aiya dunno how to explain.. share a few things and memories with one of my pri skool de good friend RacheL loLx .. damn luan luan now =/.. ok this is what i found now .. at this time..

Enjoy zZ

A stormy relationship is one that has plenty of passion, but not necessarily of the positive kind. Positive passion is what we think of when we picture a relationship at its best. But when there’s an excessive amount of negative passion of the variety seen in stormy relationship, the result is a tremendous amount of anger and discomfort. At the extreme, these relationships can become abusive and even dangerous. The sad part is that the situation responsible for so much of the anger is never dealt with or resolved. Thus, the pattern can continue indefinitely.

There are one-sided there are one-sided relationships. In these cases one person usually puts out much more effort and energy toward the maintenance, nurturing and survival of the relationship than does the other one. In a one-sided relationship one partner can be quite content — having all the passion and comfort he or she needs — while the other partner feels somewhat to totally unfulfilled.

In all types of troubled relationship it is important to ask: "What is the potential for change?" If the answer is "none," the next question to ask yourself is, "Is this where I still want to be?"

ok that sums up my feeling now =/ .. kk nitex.. i tink i want to sleep ler .... hopefully is due to my tiredness then will feel like that bah ....

14 . 05 . 05

2005-05-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

>.< 2dae woke up damnn late .. edwin calls woke me up at 9.30am den i was suppose to meet them at 10.30 at raiders but hor at 9.35 liddat i woke up , on heater , then fell asleep again till 12pm then wake up and bath -.- .. i told my mum to wake up @ 9 liddat but my parents went out ler.. haizZ ..

Rush to raiders bah.. then check my handfone - 5 messages 9 miss call .. chiam liao .. go raiders micham sauna again .. dunno their air con spolit for how long ler =/ i go there play cs for while and knife a few ppl with my new nick []=Sacrifar=[] den go play 1 game of Dota .. yay we all on winning spree now .. eh +6 now ? for me thats is .. spent $ 4.40 at raiders todae .. then we 4 had chicken rice / duck rice as lunch at 3 plus before heading to arcade lorx.. actually youxu wanted to come my hse study de but my other friends jio me go lan again @ 6pm liddat so i went home 1st, put my history tb at home and change my trousers b4 and lastly. watched house of fury disc 1 before going out again =)) meet them @ 5.50pm playplay for 1 hour liddat then go eat dinner .. ate fried / dry prawn noodle loLx.. some1 dun lyk prawn but i always eat prawn loLx
nvm nvm .. den i go walk walk wif them till 7 ++ met up wif glenn youxu and edwin again .. they all came from edwin's hse .. hmm we go play raiders again .. my third time 2dae? .. eh this time play longer a bit loLx.. $ 4.40 again .. left raiders @ 9.50pm then go 7-11 buy Big gulp .. dey 3 went arcade while i walk home bah .. ohh yaa 2dae bought a high card .. 1st time buying sth liddat then blur blur de. summore my tupid hair make me like an idiot liddat =/ ..

[-]Glenn are u coming my hse tml ????
[-]Youxu tml can go out ????
[-]Edwin going raiders 2ml ????

loLx questions for ppl =))

lastly b4 i go off .. i wish every1 GOOD LUCK for the last 2 papers bah .. chinese and His/Geog/Lit .. last day of exams ler .. GL HF x)

Despite the darkness that surrounds me
I always see a light?
A star, directly above,
Glittering and shining bright.

It reminds me of your smile
Which would always brighten my day.
I can only picture your face
As you live thousands of miles away.

So,
every time I need you
I look up to the sky,
Searching for that star
That reminds me of your smile.

When I see that star
I hear you whisper in my ear,
"Remember, I promised youI?
ll always be there."

Then I can smile
Even though we're far apart,
Because I know you're here with me
And I;m forever in your heart.

[x]Love is knowing that, no matter what, you have someone who wants to make you smile

13.05.05. My Black Fridae B'dae

2005-05-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

tell me
what's on your mind
you've been silent
all this time

i took my long steps
to think if this is all you
dwelling inside this heart
and mind

if i keep on thinking
and fear there would be no room
no space left
where i've been dreaming
all this time

if i could tell you exactly
how i long
how much i want open the close doors
then it would be as easy as
getting near you

but then all these
just sum up to one dream
one wish
i'm uncertain if
i could bring it all to you !

Okie . that my mood for you ..Unknown and unclear

Well i am finally 15 ler .. yay!! time to make Ic soon ler .. not bad . . after waitin for 15 years.. finally the day is approaching .. 2dae reach skool blur blur de .. xXjaMnXx pass me a present .. o.O i tot u cannot go out ?? . loLx XiE xiE . aiya then after tt was our emath1 paper.. overall quite an average paper .. not too hard thou .. wasted 1 hour 30min.. After our 1 and onli paper .. we went to Mcd for Breakfast =)) .. Me . Glenn . Jiamin . Edwin . Youxu .. then still got eh .. Alvin . Chin Hong . Jason . Siang ee . Shawal . and a few more bah .. loL. they all playin like paper war liddat.. see things keep flyin ard lor. .

Then we went to J8 .. wanted to watch Divergence but we were late so walk for 15 min liddat to Edwin hse.. on the way .. realised that jiamin was afraid of ants =/ .. and loves fishing .. Dunno who sae go edwin hse want studie de then end up watch anime with us hor ? .. we watched Flame of recca till ard 1 pm then take bus bqk to amk central juBilee .. went to the arcade and then watch divergence @ 2.45pm .. the show quite nice but ending a bit funny. 3/5 stars?
erm i played para para 2dae- .- oo not bad hor .. survived till stage 3 .. then tried ddr @ 9pm oso lar .. stage 2 mati liao .. Overall todae .. went to a lot of places and played a lot of games and had a lot of fun ^^ ..

Now eatin my bowl of Shark's Fin as i Blog.. Just had some abalone and bird nest worr.. any 1 wants ?? loLx still got a few more bowls in the kitchen =xXx .. just now reach home get ang bao from parents .. eeeeKKk $ 100 bucks . dun plan to spend them .. need to save $$ ler .. I am a poor little boy now ..

kaes going to midnite ler.. 15 years old liao =)) .. ByEByE go orh orh ler

Eng / Physics

2005-05-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

YAy.. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ? i wonder how many marks will i get for physics lor .. stupid lame hard paper -.- zZ .. after i do section A ler .. tot was an easy paper.. then turn to section B . Siao liao ... =/

Question1 dunno how to do .. question 2.. forget formula.. calculate get stupid answers .. question 3 finally noe how ler.. question 4 die.. no protractor cannot do .. question 5 .. dunno how to count .. question 6 .. dunno how to do .. i guess i will get erm about 10 / 40 marks bah ..

Section C worst off .. Question 1 and 2 . out of 20 marks i tink i will get ard 4 marks onli bah .. question 3 still got hope Yay!!. 10 % chances for me to pass bah .. hAizZ .. nvm nvm .. work harder nix time bah ..

2dae after exam .. glenn and youxu came to my hse .. to play street fighter and some mofunzone de games.. loL. got letter for me todae .. wootz.. but hor read liao dunno sad or happie lEh .. felt odd after that .. Just wanna say , wo bu hui qing yi fang qi de =))

For our english paper.. quite easy bah .. on LioNs dE.. !! Cute old lion with a sad ending loLx

Sian 1/2 . todae edwin so good lor.. got fever then nv take physics exams.. he cfm top lvl ler for phyisics zZ .. well , although he sick hor .. we still went to raiders just now . play play .. lolx.. Our new nicks .. [E] Eisenmeteor [S] Sacrifar [G] Silfarion [Y] Blue Crimson[Manager] Melforse
Chim hor ?? but nice nice de =)) .. 2dae onli saw me youxu and edwyne .. cos glenn was busyin playing dota =/ ..while we 3 all on form sia 2dae @ cs. . .. i managed to knife Shadow , Mao , Clo and Man .. not bad ... =))

2 more hours 30 min to myy b'dae ..wooT .. ic coming ler.. yay!! can;t wait =X . WisH nUbisH a happie B;dae !!! jkjk .. i not so thick skin -.-

[E] Eisenmeteor
[S] Sacrifar
[G] Silfarion
[Y] Blue Crimson
[Manager] Melforse

Emaths / Chemistry

2005-05-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

- Current Mood --> Out of my mind -.=

Woot .. 2dae papers reallie quite easy .. finally got time to rest and look ard ler .. so happie hahazZ

Emaths. was set by miss ng .. so the standard not that hard bah .. me finish the test in like erm 1hour ? had 30 min liddat to look at my friends .. spend most of my time looking @ some1 lorhx .. the paper.. i skip here skip there but in the end managed to complete all =))

Chemisty ..2 hours 30 mins paper .. sian sian .. i timed myself .. the paper was from 10.20am tp 12.50pm ard there. . i spent 30 min doing mcq .. 30 min doing section b . then had 1 hour 30 min left . so i slacked ard ..look look again .. see some1 busying doing the paper then saw edwin lookin ard oso loLx.. completed section in within 45 mins then it was resssssssssssst for me ler ..
Overall todae de paper veri the simple .. wasn't like those i thought of .. luckily wor ..

Hmm went edwin hse todae... loL actually wanted to go his hse study physics for 2ml de. . but end up .. we watched flame of recca then play mahjong. for about 100 mins liddat bah .. then we 4 [ ESGY ] went to raiders ler =XxX .. reached raiders @ 7 pm liddat .. played till 9 pm

2dae dota game was veri the challenging but we still won ... yay!! dun wan to go into details .. =)) .. i knifed edwyne 2 times todae.. wee woo weet .. haha.. i attempted to knife glenn but failed haizZ.. erm so now i blogging ler bah .. and off i go to revise my physics .. before tryin my luck .. see some1 slept liao mar.. wish me good luck for 2ml paper =))

Amaths/SS

2005-05-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

- Current Mood --> Sadded .. felt that i am left in the dark

The quest had began .. How many papers will i fail ? Okay that's a stupid question -.-

SianzZ 2dae was Amaths in the morning and Social Studies after the break

Amaths .. Question1 = skip Question 2 = stupid equation cannot solved and many others mistake but when i reached home and attempted the questions myself again. i realised that
i could do them zZ.. Fuck myself for that ..

For Social Studies.. I was very confidence for my source base =)) but for the merger and separation i tink i fail liao... 12 marks questions i only talked about 4 - 5 points .. Stupid me ..Well that's the result for a lack of preparation for exams .. Sadded

Okay .. don't talk about exams ler zZ

- This is a kinda poem that was i found -

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Morale ? .. that is .. Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

I told you, I loved you but you wouldn't believe me. Now that you are gone, how am i suppose to find you and tell you that whatever i said was from the bottom of my heart ? - Regrets -

zZ

2005-05-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

Wo shi yi ge wu ren yao de wu gui -.=

Good luck to all amksian and human beings who will have to go thru a week of suffering from 2ml onwards.. may the power be with u and bring u harmless thru this coming week of suffer and agony u will be facing .. hehe zZ . Hope u all pass ur exams with Flying colours . =))

i SuX -.-

2005-05-08T14:15:00.000+08:00

i suck - i sux - i sark - i am a sarker - i am a sux0r - i am a s*ckeR

zZ .. 2ml exams start liao still cannot concentrate .. die liao lor ..

it had been 3 weeks . 3 weeks just flashed by . 3 weeks of fun and agony . i had been living in fear . fear that no words could be used to explain . I had been screaming at myself . unwilling to let go of the fact . HurT and left in the dark . AlonE- i WisH that you could be at my side . TeaR could be seen in my eyes . streaming and tickling down my face . Watching the DawN all by myself . All these LinK to the pleasent past of me . Time flies . 3 years into sec life . 1 1/2 year to go . we had known for 3 years . watching all of my friends changing in front of my own eyes zZ

8 more days to go - 5 more days to my b'dae - 1 more day to the 1st paper - how many more days to the end of my life ? no 1 noEs zZ

[07.05.05] [x] - went out in the morning . saw something in the bus .. something that perhaps was my imagination or my eyes were playin a trick on me . Meet Eric and Perry and Justin at x-zone @ ard 11 am .. Edwin came and find us at 11++ .. around 11.30 went to raiders to find Glenn . had fun till 4pm .. went to the market to eat . justin . perry . eric left . me , glenn , edwin went back to raiders . i wanted to let my anger out by killing . and killing ppl in Cs . =) .. had 4 double knifes in the same map . 2 in a row . reached home at 7pm liddat .. came online and started crapping .. revised my chem a bit , ss a bit , emaths a bit .. homework left untouch. -The UntouchablE -
wanted to call 9 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ but fell asleep due to my stupid medicine . zZ . y can't i keep my promises as i could in the past ? y can't i complete things that i needed to do - on time ?
y couldn't i succeed in things i try ? . i need to work .. harder and harder till i work my heart out .. but the question remains .. CAN I ? .

No one is happy all of the time, but some people feel as if they can never find happiness. Some people feel as if their entire life is devoted to nothing but pain and hurt and loneliness. Every day is a struggle, and every breath a fight for survival. These people have a deep understanding of the word Depression

SianzZ .. I chose the road that i wanted to walk .. but now as i am walking along .. i wanted to give it all up .. Determination and courage !! these are the things that i lack off

Slaaaacker

2005-05-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

Yawnz .. 2dae actually have tuition de.. but in the end .. nv go again .. .. went for lan gaming instead.. perhaps.. i should reallie stop playin the com for a few weeks .. getting addicted to DotA ler .. Die Die .. hmm bad day @ school todae.. early in the morning.. went to school to copy hw and left my maths out again .. had to rush during recess ler .. sianz .

dunnO what's wrong with me this few days .. Keep gettin distracted by things that i should do only after exams .. haiZ.. now no mood to study ler .. All that is on my mind is still the same thing . and i have a new subject . that ish to succeed in my mission to get her attention bah ..
I believe that my preservance will bring me some where in life =)

Btw . my A MATHS -.- .. zZ got 48 / 100 for overall haiZ.. that's how sucky i am. i failed 2 out of 3 tests still expect to pass -.=" .. Well let's talk out lan gaming Dota!!.. 2dae [ESGY] won their 1st game in a 5 v 5 bah .. took kinda long and was lucky that 1 oppenent hang while 1 more quited .. in 11 more hours time, i believe that i will be in front of a com @ raiders now .. happy dotaing or csing .. but now b4 i do that . i will nid to go studyy!! ..

2dae after skool , justin came to my hse. to play some games and waited for me to bath . then i went to his hse lOlx and waited for him to change and baths .. a bit lame lar. . then he pei me to yishun walk walk lor .. pass things to ppl =x .. then came back amk for some arcading and lan gaming bah =D xiE xiE ni justin !!

Can some1 tell me More about Her !!! plS

Exams -.="

2005-05-05T20:11:00.002+08:00

Hmm .. i guess most amksians now .. will be busyin studying for their exams. while i am the only 1 still doing my new blog .. Well's this is my 2nd blog as i screwed my 1st blog up totally lolx..
Wish all amksians all the best in the exams and all my friends to pass the exams with flying colours =)

2dae was just like a normal day .. woke up @ 5.50am .. wanted to reach to by 6.30 but as usual i was late. . had boring lessons for almost the whole day.. then after school .. Glenn and I went to Edwin's Hse .. ( nUbLet, nUbisH, nUbFuL ).. i asked manager along but he had things to attend to.. Went to edwin hse with an intention of studying but instead we watched wishing stairs and some animes. I left early to come home to fix my blog and still the same intention of studying . but now i am still slacking here.. sian 1/2 .. oki done my job ler.. time to go makan .. Ciaox

Changes

2005-05-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

Welcome me back !

National Day !

1990-08-09T11:28:00.000+08:00